God has provided the right man or woman just for you; Ecc 7:23-29


March 21, 2021
  1. 1. Anthropocentric Academic Speculation or increasing in knowledge and regarding humans as the central element of the universe, GEN 11:1-9, Ecc 1.

 Are you living your life seeking happiness through education & gaining knowledge?

ECC 1:18 In much wisdom there is much grief, and increasing knowledge {results in} increasing pain.

  1. 2. In Ecclesiastes 2:1-11, we see the 2nd experiment of “Seeking Happiness in Pleasure”—eat, drink, and be merry.

Are you living your life seeking happiness in pleasure, as Solomon did?

The result of this experiment is found in Ecclesiastes 2:2, which says, “I said of laughter, ‘It is madness,’ and of pleasure, [and Solomon concluded]‘What does it accomplish?’”

Ecclesiastes 2:11 says, “Thus I considered all my activities which my hands had done and the labor which I had exerted, and behold all was vanity and chasing after wind and there was no profit [gain] under the sun.”

In ECC 2:12 Solomon decided that he was going to have a son and leave everything to him, so that the family name could be perpetuated and go on to greater glory—the All in the Family Experiment.  

  1. 3. The Third Experiment: (is the) “All in the Family” (experiment)

Are you living for the Family, having children and keeping it all in the family?  

Ecclesiastes 2:21-22. “When there is a man who has labored with wisdom, knowledge and skill, then he gives his legacy to one who has not labored with them. This too is vanity and a great evil. For what does a man get in all his labor and in his striving with which he labors under the sun?

Ecclesiastes 2:25. “For who can eat and who can have enjoyment without Him?”

Only God gives capacity to enjoy life.

  1. 4. The 4th Experiment: The Philosophy of Time Orientation.

Without a relationship with God, and seeing things from the divine viewpoint of life, all of these things are meaningless.

Will you live in the Philosophy of Time Orientation?

God has made all things beautiful in its time, but our problem is not so much what happens, as it is our perspective of what happens, ECC 3:11a.

ECC 3:11b says, “He has also set eternity in their heart, yet so that man will not find out the work, which God has done from the beginning even to the end.”

Experiment # 5 is looking for happiness from money, wealth and prosperity.

Are you living your life looking for happiness from money, wealth and prosperity?

ECC 5:10 The one who loves money is never satisfied with money, nor he who loves abundance with its income. More vanity.

Solomon also taught that loving money will cause you to trust in something that can be taken away very fast. PRO 23:4-5

The Sixth Experiment: Building a Reputation.

Will you live for building a reputation?

Ecclesiastes 6:9 “It was futility and striving after the wind.

The Seventh Experiment: Sex.

Are you seeking happiness through sex and intimate relationships?

ECC 7:26 I made one major discovery: A woman can be a bitter pill to swallow, full of seductive scheming [appealing to the sexual desires of the male species] and grasping [taking your bank account or life’s savings]. The lucky escape her; the undiscerning get caught.

ECC 9:9 Relish life with the spouse you love each and every day of your precarious or delicate and dangerous life. Each day is God’s gift. It’s all you get in exchange For the hard work of staying alive. Make the most of each one!

The Eighth Experiment: The Hero Image.

Are you looking for happiness in the hero image?  

Ecclesiastes 9:14-15, being a hero does not make a person happy.

PSA 118:8-9  It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in princes.

Grace Bible Church
Pastor-Teacher
Robert R. McLaughlin
Sunday,
March 21, 2021

(21) The next “Defense Mechanism” which manifest itself as a desire for Sexuality and a lust after the opposite sex of the male and female believer.

This is the life and desire for any person, male or female, who desires sex with any man or woman who is a member of the opposite number of male verses female.

Sex is designed for pleasure, for the expression of category two love and the perpetuation of the human race.

The human race is to be perpetuated out of something that should be of great pleasure, and I say something that should be of great pleasure because often it is not of great pleasure.

Sex was designed by God for right man, right woman relationship  and it was designed for which was recreation, pleasure and enjoyment.

The first test that he took was a reflection of the insight he received concerning the fact that we cannot understand ourselves nor can we make ourselves wise, as Ecc 7:23-24 states.

So, in Ecc 7, verses 25-28, wisdom reveals the fact that intimate relationships are compelling but often not satisfying at all for the believer.

Now Solomon had a thousand women, 700 princesses as his wives and 300 mistresses.

He thought he was a sexual athlete and none of that caused him to gain any sense of wisdom.

First, he found out that he was trapped by sexual seductions.

The first insight is this, we cannot understand ourselves nor can we make ourselves wise, verses 23-24!

 “He just doesn’t understand me” or “She just doesn’t understand me!”

Solomon had an edification complex, he had a soul structure which was built upon doctrine but he reverted from that and one of the things which he rejected was the doctrine of right man right woman.

It is taught very clearly in Gen 2:18-25, Ecc 9:9, 1Co 7:17, Pro 18:22, 19:12, Pro 5, 31, just to name a few.

Solomon describes his own failure to wait for his right woman.

  1. 1. He began with the first experimentation which was  Anthropocentric Academic Speculation or regarding humans as the central element of the universe.

He wasn’t bitter toward the first experimentation, his conclusion was that it was vanity and chasing after wind, Ecc 1:14-18.

  1. 2. In Ecc 2, we had the experiment of seeking happiness in pleasure, or in Ecc 2:1-11, the eat, drink and be merry type of attitude

He wasn’t bitter after his second experiment of seeking happiness in pleasure, he just said in ECC 2:11 that it was vanity and chasing  after wind and there was no profit in it.

  1. 3. The third experiment was the All in the Family experiment where Solomon concluded that he was going to have children and keep everything in the family……..but he also failed.

He wasn’t bitter after his third experiment, he just said in ECC 2:17, that he hated life because everything was futility and chasing after wind.

  1. 4. Experiment number 4 was the Philosophy of Time Orientation or having an organized life.

He wasn’t bitter after experiment number 4, his conclusion was simply stated in ECC 3:9  What profit is there to the worker from that in which he toils?

  1. 5. In experiment number 5, he went looking for happiness from money, wealth and prosperity.

He wasn’t bitter after experiment number 5, He just said in ECC 5:10  He who loves money will not be satisfied with money, nor he who loves abundance {with its} income. This too is vanity.

  1. 6. His sixth experiment that he thought would give him happiness was building a reputation.

He wasn’t bitter after his sixth experiment, He just said in ECC 6:9 it was futility and a striving after wind.

When we get to the seventh experiment, the experiment of seeking happiness in sex and love, Solomon is bitter with the results of this one.

Men have a problem or a weakness with bitterness, especially when it comes to Sex.

COL 3:19…..do not be bitter against them [gune – your woman].

Only one of these experiments were ever found in the Garden of Eden in the original creation of man.

I am going to try and prove to you why Solomon’s seventh experiment was the only experiment that caused him to become bitter.

This all goes back to the Garden of Eden when man was originally placed here on earth in a perfect environment with one thing missing in his life……..his right woman.

In the first six experiments, intimacy with people was not involved, especially intimacy with a wife or your right woman.

In Anthropocentric Academic Speculation, there’s no intimacy involved, there’s no letting down your guard.

In seeking happiness in pleasure, or eat, drink and be merry, there’s no intimacy involved, there’s no privacy that must be protected.

In the All in the Family experiment, there may be a closeness between parents and children but there’s no intimacy involved, there’s no confidentiality involved.

In the Philosophy of Time Orientation, there’s no intimacy involved, there’s no sharing of things which you don’t like to share with just anyone.

In experiment number 5, looking for happiness from money, wealth and prosperity, there’s no intimacy involved, there’s no trust at stake.

In experiment number 6, seeking happiness from a reputation, there’s no intimacy involved, there’s no communication of secrets that you don’t want anyone else to know.

Solomon’s seventh experiment, the experiment of seeking happiness in sex, inevitable intimacy is involved especially when a man lets down his guard and shares with the woman such deep secrets that he would not share with anyone else.

If the woman ever betrays his trust or does not protect his privacy or his friendship and deepest secrets, it is very easy for him to become bitter.

Solomon didn’t become bitter because of lack of sex, he became bitter because he could never find that one woman whom he could confide in and enter into intimacy with.

According to the seventh test, it seems as though throughout his entire lifetime, he only had one male friend but he never found the woman of his dreams.

Or if he did, too much fornicating destroyed his ability to recognize the right one.

Originally, when man was placed in the garden in perfect environment, God designed man to be happy and for happiness to exist, Solomon would have to make sure that the happiness was based on character and virtue.

The phrase “I will make” is the Qal imperfect of asah which describes something God keeps on doing, even still today.

The word “helper” is the noun `eezer which means someone to aid the man, someone to help him, to assist, someone to respond to him.

They were not ashamed even though they were naked.

This does not refer to the nakedness of the body only, there were no other people on earth to hide their nakedness from, so what’s the big deal?

The word for “ashamed” is the hithpolel future of buwsh which means to be ashamed, embarrassed, disappointed, dissatisfied, with the soul as well as the body.

The original relationship that God designed for the man and the woman was to be one where they would not be ashamed to share things with one another.

The reason is because their souls were attached before their body.

Solomon disarmed himself with many women in his search for
happiness and his quest for the right one for his life.

As he did this, he found out that many of the women that he confided in tried to trap him….they tricked him…..they lied to him…..which is one of the quickest ways to destroy trust in a relationship.

Some of them enticed him, they made promises that they didn’t keep…..and therefore he became bitter toward them.

It’s important to note that promiscuity didn’t help……it simply complicated the matter and destroyed Solomon’s ability to recognize his right woman.

Because finding your right man or right woman is one of the three gifts God has made available for mankind, Satan has tried to destroy the principle of right man, right woman.

There are three prominent grace gifts from Christ to man delineated in Scripture, and these are the order in which they occur in the human race:

a.  Right woman, He built her, Pro 18:22, 19:13‑14.

b.  Salvation, He did it.
Doctrine, He thought it, 1Co 2:16.

In all of human history, right woman is the oldest human gift, for Christ brought the woman to the man, Gen 2:18.

Because the right man – right woman relationship is one of the three gifts God has made available to mankind, Satan has tried to destroy the principle of right man, right woman.

1.  Reversionism, especially phallic reversionism is an attack on the concept of right man-right woman.

2.  Life in the cosmic system is an attack on right man-right woman.

3.  All mental attitude sins attack right man-right woman,
SOS 8:6, 8; Pro 27:4, 6:34.

4.  Negative volition to doctrine is an attack on right man-right woman, Jer 15:8‑9, 15‑21, 16:1‑2, 17:9‑11, 12:7‑9.

Abstaining from fornication protects the soul, so that it can have a soul climax and the fantastic happiness Christ wants every member of the human race to have when it comes to SEX.

Perhaps they shared things with others in the Harem that he asked them to keep confidential.

Many of the harems in the ancient world were run by eunuchs and therefore some of the women entered into lesbianism and that could have been another reason for his bitterness.

The type of relationship that Solomon was looking for was not just friendship but one of intimacy where Solomon perhaps would share weaknesses that he would have never shared with men.

If that woman repeats these things and tells others what was said to them in confidence, this can destroy a relationship and tempt the man to become bitter.

He went looking for that which would support and strengthen and make him feel that life was worth living.

He found himself involved with women who did not give him what he was looking for at all.

Solomon was a man who destroyed his capacity for a good relationship and his capacity for a good marriage through experience.

After all, if you have 700 wives and 300 mistresses and you get around at least once a year to all of them…..you have made a great accomplishment.

He doesn’t want to die but after woman number 789, he had pretty well made up his mind that there has to be something else in life besides a relationship with a woman and a lot of sex.

Solomon is saying that he has discovered that women were a snare and that their mind was filled with little nets that they toss over you like you’re a butterfly.

When he makes that statement, he is not necessarily insulting the ladies he is merely showing that after having more sex than anyone in history, that sex isn’t all that fulfilling.

Through fornication he has destroyed his ability to recognize the one woman the Lord had made or designed just for him.

By the way, if this has happened to you there is a healing process that can take place in your soul, so that you can recover the ability to recognize the man or woman God has designed for you!

  1. 1. The first is his failure of his mother and father, and that’s the childhood failure.
  2. 2. The second is the fact that he does not find his right woman because he does not wait for TLJC to bring him his right woman.

By now, with all that we have learned about Solomon, you should realize that Solomon had the greatest opportunity for happiness of anyone who ever lived from every standpoint.

In Ecc 7, verses 25-28, we have Solomon’s record of his seventh experiment, the experiment of seeking happiness in sex.

Solomon didn’t think to highly of the ladies although he was a sex athlete.

He’d like to use them for sex but then he said that he discovered that they were foolish, stupid, made stupid decisions and they seemed to think with an irrational thought process.

Being a man of wisdom and intellect, Solomon became very bitter toward stupid foolish women, although they were beautiful overtly to him, they were ugly in their soul.

Solomon found this out the hard way, women are inspiring, a pleasure to be around, and stimulating when they have divine viewpoint.

Without divine viewpoint, they are petty, implacable, vindictive, and vicious with their tongues.

This means that a woman’s inner beauty comes from what she has inside her soul….namely divine viewpoint.

Pride, jealousy, bitterness, vindictiveness, implacability, hatred, pettiness, guilt feelings, all make a woman very ugly.

It is taught in Gen 2:18-25, Ecc 9:9, 1CO 7:17, Pro 18:22, 19:14;  Proverbs 5, and Proverbs 31.

GEN 2:22  And the Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.

GEN 2:23  And the man said, “This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.”

GEN 2:24   For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.

GEN 2:25  And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed or embarrassed.

In ECC 9:9  Enjoy life with the woman whom you love all the days of your fleeting life which woman God has given to you under the sun; for this is your reward in life, and in your toil in which you have labored under the sun.

Also note 1CO 7:17   Only, as the Lord has assigned to each one, as God has called each, in this manner let him walk. And thus I direct in all the churches.

PRO 18:22   He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord.

PRO 19:14  House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers, But a prudent wife is from the Lord.

Proverbs 5 from David to his son Solomon, Proverbs 31 from Bathsheba to Solomon. This is because Solomon’s father and mother taught him doctrine.

PRO 12:4   An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who shames him is as rottenness in his bones.

PRO 31:10   An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels.

If the man and woman wait on God’s timing, the Lord will bring the right woman to her right man.

There are three prominent grace gifts from Christ to man delineated in scripture and these are the order in which they occur in the human race: first, his right woman, He built her (Pro 18:22, 19:13-14).

PRO 18:22  He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor or grace from the Lord.

PRO 19:13 A foolish son is destruction to his father, And the contentions of a wife are a constant dripping.

PRO 19:14  House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers, But a prudent wife is from the Lord.

The second prominent grace gifts from Christ to man delineated in scripture is Salvation, He accomplished it; Joh 19:30.

The third prominent grace gifts from Christ to man delineated in scripture is Doctrine, He thought it (1 Co 2:16).

In all of human history, right woman is the oldest human gift, for
Christ brought the woman to the man before the fall in Gen 2:18.

Having departed from Bible doctrine, he became a great experimenter in sex but he lost the best thing he ever had.