Robert McLaughlin Bible Ministries
Death and life are in the power of the tongue.
Sunday, October 10, 2004
PHI 4:9 These things [doctrinal principles] also you have learned [manthano – learned from a teacher under strict academic discipline] and received [accepted through metabolization of doctrine] and having heard [under discipline] and have understood by means of me [Paul’s teaching ministry]. Be putting these things into action and the God of prosperity shall be with you, all of you [supergrace believers].
There are relationships in life which are designed to be very meaningful and prosperous – this depends upon understanding one another.
There are some wonderful differences between male and female, and it is these differences, and understanding these differences, that unite us and produce relationships that are prosperous.
Once we understand that there are differences between the male and female species, it is time to apply those differences doctrinally or “Be putting these things into action and the God of prosperity shall be with you.”
We are wired differently, emotionally, psychologically, physically.
We come from different backgrounds, different family expectations, and traditions, and things that we have learned from childhood.
We add to that the old sin nature.
GEN 5:1 In the day when God created man, He made him in the likeness of God. He created them male and female, and He blessed them and named them Man in the day when they were created.
It was God who ordained marriage –
GEN 2:24 For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.
1PE 3:7 You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life,
LUK 8:18 “Be careful how you listen;”
MAT 12:34 “For the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart.”
1. Observation – when you listen to an individual, listen also with your eyes, as well as your ears – observe the other person.
We perceive with our eyes, MAT 13:15.
EPH 1:18 I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints,
2. Concentration. Psychologists tell us that we only hear about 20 % of what is spoken.
PRO 18:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue.
If you truly love them, do not try to catch them in an error, but listen to the meaning of the words, try to concentrate and consider, what they are saying, what they are feeling.
4. Observation, concentration, consideration, and clarification.
Think it through.
The old rabbis used to say, “The ears are open and out, they are unguarded, but the tongue is behind those ivory bars.”
PRO 19:11 Smart people know how to hold their tongue; their grandeur is to forgive and forget.
PRO 10:19 When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, But he who restrains his lips is wise.
PRO 17:27 He who restrains his words has knowledge, And he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.
ECC 5:3 For the dream comes through much effort, and the voice of a fool through many words.
Sometimes people want to play the judge.
The professor is the one who assumes the superior position in the relationship.
Another game that people like to play is the psychologist.
1CO 13:4 Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant,
They like to play the historian.
It is a diversionary tactic, not wanting to face the situation today as it really is.
1CO 13:5 love does not take into account a wrong suffered,
Another game that people like to play is the dictator.
PRO 21:9 Better to live alone in a tumbledown shack than share a mansion with a nagging spouse.
Do not play the dictator, do not play the critic.
The critic is the person who loves to compare you to other people!
Or you might compare negatively – “You are just like your father.”
The cruelest cut of all is when the critic criticizes the individual for something over which they have no control, over physical traits, over background, over intellectual capacity, and other things.
1CO 13:5 love does not act unbecomingly;
Another game that people like to play is the preacher.
The Bible is a wonderful sword, but it is a very poor club.
EPH 4:26 Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,
ECC 7:9 Do not be eager in your heart to be angry, For anger resides in the bosom of fools.
PRO 16:32 He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city.
PRO 29:22 An angry man stirs up strife, And a hot-tempered man abounds in transgression.
Do not let the sun go down upon your wrath, get it settled and get it settled today.
Just make up your mind to accept the other person.
Practice acceptance, and then practice accommodation.
Practice adjustment and flexibility.