(21) The next “Defense Mechanism” manifest itself as Sexuality and a desire for lusting after the opposite sex not the right man or the right woman as we noted with Sarah.
This is the life of any person, male or female, who desires sex with any man or woman who is a member of the opposite number which is male verses female.
God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural.
In the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error which resuled in homosexuality.
This is a person who has been socialized to believe that intimate same-sexual relationships are good and not sinful.
Sex is designed for pleasure, for the expression of category two love and the perpetuation of the human race.
The human race is to be perpetuated out of something that should be of great pleasure, and I say something that should be of great pleasure because often, it is not.
This is because of every kind mismatch, distortions in the soul which there are many reasons for and they are prevalent in the average believer.
Sex was designed by God for right man, right woman and it was designed for recreation, pleasure and enjoyment.
- Physical intimacy, which is coalescence of bodies or the sexual relationship in marriage.
- Compatibility intimacy, which is coalescence of souls or mental attitudes in the relationship of marriage.
- Rapport intimacy, which is coalescence of human spirits or the spiritual relationship in marriage.
God invented sex for two purposes.
Recreation and procreation.
Sex does not create human life; it produces biological life and the old sin nature.
By now you should realize that Sarah was a phenomenal woman because of all the things that she had to overcome to reach spiritual maturity.
She is a perfect example and encouragement for every female that even though she was mixed up and flaky and jealous, she snapped out of it and made it to spiritual maturity.
COL 3:5 Therefore consider the members of your earthly body as dead to immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed, which amounts to idolatry.
The first insight is this, we cannot understand ourselves nor can we make ourselves wise, verses 23-24.
We hear people say many times, "He just doesn't understand me" or "She just doesn't understand me!"
PSA 19:12 Who can understand his errors? Acquit me of hidden faults.
PSA 19:13 Also keep back Thy servant from presumptuous sins; Let them not rule over me; Then I shall be blameless, And I shall be acquitted of great transgression.
His trump card is going to be the one thing most men admired him for......SEX!
In Ecc 7, verses 25-28, wisdom also reveals the fact that intimate relationships are compelling but often not satisfying.
This is the beginning of Solomon's seventh experiment, the experiment of seeking happiness in sex.
Intimate relationships are often compelling but they're often unfulfilling!
Solomon had a thousand women, 700 princesses as his wives and 300 mistresses!
He thought he was a sexual athlete and none of that caused him to gain any sense of wisdom.
First, he found out that he was trapped by sexual seductions.
Believe it or not, this verse says do not be bound to the feminine idol of sex.
Solomon went looking for love and he thought he would find it in an intimate relationship with a woman.
He went looking for that which would support and strengthen him and make him feel that life was worth living.
PRO 24:5 "A wise man is strong, And a man of knowledge increases power."
Then in verse 20, Solomon teaches us that wisdom allows us to accept the imperfections of life.
ECC 7:20 Indeed, there is not a righteous man on earth who continually does good and who never sins.
"Don't take everything that someone says about you too seriously or to heart!"
Sometimes people say things without thinking!
Sometimes people say things they don't mean!
Sometimes people have a difficult time expressing themselves and they say things in the wrong way.
"Don't take everything that someone says about you seriously!"
Wisdom gives us the strength to avoid the pitfalls of flattery and gullibility.
This brought us to our sixth point concerning wisdom;
wisdom also gives you the strength to resist criticism.
Verse 22 tells us why we shouldn't take everything seriously that people say, especially if they have cursed us!
ECC 7:22 For you also have realized that you likewise have many times cursed others.
The first insight is this, we cannot understand ourselves nor can we make ourselves wise, verses 23-24!
"He just doesn't understand me" or "She just doesn't understand me!"
Solomon hasn't really gone all out and tried his trump card yet......his trump card is going to be the one thing most men admired him for......sex!
This is the beginning of Solomon's seventh experiment, the experiment of seeking happiness in sex.
First, he found out that he was trapped by sexual seductions!
The phrase "I discovered" is a qal active participle of matsa which looks like this, Uwmowtse, it doesn't mean that he suddenly discovered it, in the qal active participle it means that he lived with this most of his life, he found it and it was a dogmatic finding.
Solomon had an edification complex, he had a soul structure which was built upon doctrine but he reverted from that and one of the things which he rejected was the doctrine of right man right woman.
It is taught very clearly in Gen 2:18-25, Ecc 9:9, 1Co 7:17, Pro 18:22, 19:12, Pro 5, 31, just to name a few.
- He began with the first experimentation which was Anthropocentric Academic Speculation or regarding humans as the central element of the universe.
- Then in ECC 2, we had the experiment of seeking happiness in pleasure, Ecc 2:1-11 or eat, drink and be merry.
He wasn't bitter after his second experiment of seeking happiness in pleasure, he just said in ECC 2:11 that it was vanity and chasing after wind and there was no profit in it.
- The third experiment was the All in the Family experiment, he was going to have children and keep it all in the family.
- Experiment number 4 was the Philosophy of Time Orientation or an organized life.
- In experiment number 5, he went looking for happiness from money, wealth and prosperity.
- His sixth experiment that he thought would give him happiness was building a reputation.
COL 3:19.....do not be bitter against them [gune - your woman].
In experiment number 4, The Philosophy of Time Orientation, there's no intimacy involved, there's no sharing of things which you don't like to share with just anyone!
In experiment number 5, looking for happiness from money, wealth and prosperity, there's no intimacy involved, there's no trust at stake!
Solomon's seventh experiment, the experiment of seeking happiness in sex, inevitable intimacy is involved especially when a man lets down his guard and shares with the woman such deep secrets that he would not share with anyone else!
This does not refer to the nakedness of the body only, there were no other people on earth to hide their nakedness from, so what's the big deal?
The word for "ashamed" is the hithpolel future of buwsh which means to be ashamed, embarrassed, disappointed, dissatisfied, with the soul as well as the body!
The original relationship that God designed for the man and the woman was to be one where they would not be ashamed to share things with one another.
The reason is because their souls were attached before their body.
As he did this, he found out that many of the women that he confided in tried to trap him....they tricked him.....they lied to him.....which is one of the quickest ways to destroy trust in a relationship.
Some of them enticed him, they made promises that they didn't keep.....and therefore he became bitter toward them.
It's important to note that promiscuity didn't help......it simply complicated the matter and destroyed Solomon's ability to recognize his right woman!
There are three prominent grace gifts from Christ to man delineated in Scripture, and these are the order in which they occur in the human race:
- Right woman, He built her, Pro 18:22, 19:13‑14.b. Salvation, He did it.
c. Doctrine, He thought it, 1Co 2:16.
In all of human history, right woman is the oldest human gift, for Christ brought the woman to the man, Gen 2:18.
Because the right man right woman relationship is one of the three gifts God has made available to mankind, Satan has tried to destroy the principle of right man, right woman.
- Reversionism, especially phallic reversionism is an attack on the concept of right man-right woman.
- Life in the cosmic system is an attack on right man-right woman.
- All mental attitude sins attack right man-right woman,
SOS 8:6, 8; Pro 27:4, 6:34. - Negative volition to doctrine is an attack on right man-right woman, Jer 15:8‑9, 15‑21, 16:1‑2, 17:9‑11, 12:7‑9.
Abstaining from fornication protects the soul, so that it can have a soul climax and the fantastic happiness Christ wants every member of the human race to have.
Perhaps they shared things with others in the harem that he asked them to keep confidential!
Many of the harems in the ancient world were run by eunuchs and therefore some of the women entered into lesbianism and that could have been another reason for his bitterness.
The type of relationship that Solomon was looking for was not just friendship but one of intimacy where Solomon perhaps would share weaknesses that he would have never shared with men.
He went looking for that which would support and strengthen and make him feel that life was worth living.
He found himself involved with women who did not give him what he was looking for at all.